Bullies Never Do
I’ve always had a big mouth and not enough fear. I’ve also had a tendency to jump in the middle of something that wasn’t any of my business, especially when I saw someone being bullied. I didn’t get bullied much in school myself, even though I was a puny thing. I suppose because for someone to bully me, they had to run the risk of having me go psycho on them. And, even bullies don’t want to deal with a psycho.
I kid mostly of course; it wasn’t until I became an adult that I really got the heck beat out of me; the first time coming out of a gay bar. There had been three huge guys earlier in the bar which didn’t look like they fit in, but then; gay bars are always open to whoever wants to come in except for a few lesbian bars I’ve been to in the past.
In that particular situation, I just happen to come out of the bar with a group of friends who were heading over to my house for a little private party. The three guys who had been in the bar earlier, were standing by the van I was driving and one of them was urinating on the driver’s side door and standing in my way. I asked him politely to please stop pissing on my van and he asked me what did I say and as I was repeating it, his friends jumped me from behind and I was pummeled to the ground with at least 750 pounds of flesh and muscle. Words like “Faggot” “C—ksucker” were lashed at me and I took a bad beating.
Shortly afterwards, they jumped into their car and took off. The only one standing was a young straight woman friend as all the gay friends I was with had run back inside in fear for their lives; gay men are not always known for their bravery I’m afraid. I wouldn’t have but then; I wasn’t the typical gay guy.
My female friend asked me if I was alright and I responded that I suppose I was. We went back inside the bar in which Tony, the guy who owned the bar and was also bartending that night, gasped when he took a look at my face. I looked in the mirror behind the bar and realized that I looked really bad. It took me a couple of weeks of healing to get back to normal.
But going back to my school days, I didn’t get beat up on much except from my own older brother who was quite a bully himself; he would beat up on me until I gave up. So I was used to being beat up on, but I didn’t get beat up on that much at school. I did get called names that weren’t too flattering and I also got my share of threats but for some reason, I was usually able to avoid a fight. If someone started in on me as though they were going to beat me up, I never backed down unless I knew the odds were definitely against me, meaning there were more than one and then it was time to run, and I could really run.
There was one tall redheaded boy who constantly picked on me and threatened me with violence. He had me cornered one day in the boy’s bathroom. He just came way too close, with his big body blocking me from getting out of the bathroom. I simply brought a knee up into his crotch and pushed him out of the way. A strange look came over his face and he walked to a sink and grabbed onto it. Then slowly he bent at the waist in what was obvious serious pain. I told him before I left the bathroom “That will teach you to stay away from me.” And then I chuckled as I walked out the door. He never bothered me again.
I was the kind of person who just never allowed the size of someone to hinder me from standing up to them, mostly because I was the smallest of brothers, being the runt of the litter that is. Even my younger brother was bigger than me. I also could not stand by and watch someone being bullied. I would step in and become the defender. I did this with my big mouth and sharp wit; at least I thought my wit was pretty sharp. I saw a bully for who they were and that was a coward. Anyone who chose to find someone who was smaller and push their weight around with that individual was considered a bully in my books.
The old standard line would be “Pick on someone you own size.” I also like to add to that “But then; bullies never do.”
Yes, calling a bully for what they are is essential, you must demean them in front of everyone for doing what they’re doing, which is finding someone smaller to pick on because a bully never will pick on someone who is of their own size, especially someone bigger. They also always expect the smaller guy to tremble before them in fear. What they never expect is someone like me, getting in their face and standing them down, especially someone with a wild look in their eye as though they may go psycho at any moment. This throws them off of their game completely. That was how I survived my school years from elementary through high school.
I didn’t get that way easily but I woke every day to a psycho mother who yelled and screamed all through breakfast and this also manifested itself within me and all my brothers and sisters. We all screamed at each other and fought with each other. It took me years to get away from that stigma but it also taught me to turn my fears into rage and anger. All through my school years, if anyone dared tried bullying me or if I witnessed bullying, I could only feel rage. I might shake but the veins popping up in my forehead spelled “danger” to anyone, no matter how big the bully was.
So my experience with bullies was different from the average run-of-the-mill bullying experience; not that it was all good, being that I had a completely dysfunctional and abusive childhood but it did serve me well against bullies in school. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing a bully could do to me that I hadn’t already faced at home with my mother and my big brother.
So I say this to those who has to face a bully; stand up to them. I don’t mean just stand up to them but get in their face and show some rage. Now you might get beat down but most likely you’ll find that a bully is just a puny little coward inside. When they realize they’ve come up against a force they didn’t expect coming from a little guy, they’re most likely will take the easy way out and just back off of you.
Besides, bullies never pick on anyone their own size or bigger so that tells you a lot about how big and bad they are. Just tell them these simple words “Go pick on someone your own size. Oh but then; bullies never do”